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A provocative title, I know. Bear with me. One of the reasons I try to limit myself from using descriptors such as “healthy” when creating my recipes is because I absolutely despise the morality of diet. While we know that certain foods contain minerals and nutrients that can support our bodies in many ways (and I will happily talk about those properties), coding food as “healthy” or “sinful” can be a slippery slope into fatphobia and disordered eating. My thoughts when it comes to food are simple: eat what makes you feel good. Sometimes that might mean the energy you get from a kale salad, and sometimes that might mean the pleasure derived from a rich chocolate cake. It might mean avoiding certain foods that make you feel unwell, or incorporating supplements to meet your body’s needs. As someone who has spent a good portion of her life subsisting on fruit juice because of my paralyzed digestive system, I can confidently say that every body has different needs, and every person has different desires. Diet is immensely personal. 

If you have a tendency to offer unsolicited dietary advice to someone “for their own good,” I beg of you: stop and check yourself. Often “I’m just concerned about your health” is thinly-veiled fatphobia, and it is more damaging than you might realize. The strain of depression associated with body shame is arguably more dangerous than the extra weight you are trying to “save” them from. Not all bodies are meant to be thin, and not all people want to forego the pleasure of eating what they love. 

It’s upsetting to see this double standard in our society; people who “eat clean” and stay active are often seen as morally better than someone who chooses a different lifestyle. (Or lives a different lifestyle because they can’t afford not to - those organic vegetables and soy patties are expensive! The elite classist undertones of “clean eating” are just as prevalent and damaging as the moral implications.) Fatphobia is coded deep into our culture, teaching us harmful stereotypes like “fat people are just lazy” or that they have no self-control. Assigning moral value to food is assigning moral value to people. Rachel Hope explains this connection in her article The False Morality of ‘Clean Eating’: 

“Bad’ foods are described as ‘fake’ or ‘junk food,’ and good foods become ‘super foods’ or ‘miracle foods.’ We are rewarded for putting those into our bodies, patted on the head for having ‘self-control,’ implying that if you don’t eat that way, you must be out of control. When you deny yourself the simple pleasure of a dessert with a falsely modest ‘No, I’ll be good,’ you’re indirectly telling others who choose to partake that they are being bad. Points systems and exercise programs allow us to ‘earn’ extra bites, as if taking pleasure in food is unnatural and must be negated.”

Taking pleasure in eating is one part of life that I hope I’ll never lose completely because of my chronic illness. What an incredible part of the human experience to deny yourself if you are able to eat! And how sad that shame is the vessel that has the power to suck up that pleasure and make it inaccessible. I have definitely benefited from the privilege of having a thin body; while I haven’t experienced fatphobia firsthand, I have heard of far too many painful, embarrassing, and incessantly common examples of it from my larger friends. If you are also a thin person, will you do me a favor and listen to some of their voices too? I particularly like this article by author Marie Southard Ospina, who discusses how body shaming and fatphobia contributed to a long struggle with disordered eating. Here’s an excerpt: 

“What I do largely blame for my disordered eating is the idea Mrs. Kendall lived by: Skinny people who eat very little are good people. Fat ones who eat “too much” are bad people. 

Culturally, the language we use to describe eating and body size are steeped in moral connotations. Foods can be “good” (lettuce, fruit, gluten-free toast) or they can be “bad” (brownies, ice cream, fried chicken). When we eat the “good” ones, we’re allowed to feel positive about ourselves. When we eat the “bad” ones, we’re meant to be consumed by guilt.

Similarly, dieting for weight loss (particularly if you are starting off fat), is celebrated. It doesn’t matter how toxic the methods for shrinking may become, so long as the end result is a smaller figure. If we break from a diet or weight loss plan to eat a slice of one dollar pizza from the street, however, we’re “cheaters.” We have failed ourselves, the system, and everyone who has to look at us, I guess.”

Can we just stop? Can we just live under the assumption that everyone is capable of making their own choices when it comes to their own bodies, and that a wide diversity of bodies is a beautiful thing? I know it is not that simple, but I’m hoping that this writing will be a reminder to you that your body is your own, and your decisions about what to put in it are your own as well. Next time anyone throws some unwanted and shame-filled dietary advice at you, tell them to go eat rocks!... 

And then go home and eat some yourself ;) Pour yourself a nice tall glass of cement and nibble on some delicious pebbles. You deserve to enjoy them too, after all. Okay, okay, these particular rocks are a bit different… they’re actually a tasty fudge-like mixture coating crunchy nuts. And that cement? It’s a black sesame smoothie! The foraged plant that ties them together must be rose, that sensual representation of self love and unconditional support. You are worthy of eating for pleasure, no matter your shape, size, or body type. 

Cement Smoothie: 

This delicious beverage pairs earthy and nutty black sesame seeds with just a hint of rose. It is dairy free (because dairy doesn’t feel good in every body) and sweetened with banana and honey (because some people don’t like the effect processed sugar has on their body.) I love that it has a satisfying hearty texture but feels light in my stomach. I hope you love it too. It has a lovely toasty sesame aftertaste. It’s not too sweet and is nice and creamy. Serves 1-2

Ingredients: 

1 frozen banana, peeled and sliced

1 ½ c. coconut milk 

1 Tbs. honey, or to taste 

¼ c. black sesame seeds (toast until fragrant and grind to a powder) 

1 tsp. Vanilla 

½ tsp. Rose water

Pinch salt

½ c. ice 

Directions: 

1. Toss everything into a blender and blend until smooth, with a little texture left from the ice. Drink immediately. 

Edible Rocks: 

This delightful recipe is based on one in Bakeland: Nordic Treats Inspired By Nature, a fantastic book full of creative culinary ideas. A deliciously fudgy white chocolate mixture is colored and flavored with chocolate cookies, black sesame seeds, and wild rose (with a hint of cardamom), then molded around crunchy toasted nuts for a salty/sweet bite that is both crunchy and creamy. 

Ingredients:

7 oz white chocolate, chopped

6 Tbs. sweetened condensed milk

Pinch of salt

1 Tbs. powdered wild rose petals

¼ tsp. Cardamom powder 

1 tsp. Vanilla bean paste

2-3 Crisp chocolate cookies 

¼ c. Black sesame seeds 

Variety roasted salted nuts 

Directions: 

1. Crush the crisp chocolate cookies into a powder. Toast the black sesame seeds in a small frying pan over medium heat until fragrant, then grind into a powder (add a little granulated sugar if needed to prevent them from becoming too pasty.) 

2. Heat the white chocolate, sweetened condensed milk, salt, cardamom, and powdered rose petals in a small saucepan over medium heat. Stir until smooth and melted. Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla bean paste. Pour the mixture into three small bowls. 

3. Add 1 ½ tsp. black sesame powder to the first bowl, 1 ½ tsp. Black sesame powder and 1 tsp. Cookie powder to the second, and 3 tsp. Black sesame powder and ½ tsp. Cookie powder to the third. Mix in well. This will give you different shades of gray for your rocks so they look more realistic. 

4. Once you’ve mixed in the additions, let the mixtures sit at room temperature for half an hour to firm up. Then, grab a small ball of one mixture and flatten it into a ¼” thick disk in your palm. Place one large nut or several smaller nuts in the middle and wrap the edges around the nuts to encase them. Roll into a ball or pebble shape. 

5. As you shape each pebble, place it on a tray covered in waxed paper in the fridge. Let them all chill for at least half an hour to firm up. Serve cold, and store any extras in an airtight container in the fridge.

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