Dear Marvelous Humans,

Oh my goodness, it has been quite a week! To those of you who visited my etsy shop update, THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I was completely blown away by how fast everything disappeared, and how much kindness was tucked into notes and comments in the transactions themselves. I am very touched. Thanks to the help of my hardworking elves (parents), all the parcels and packages are on their way to their new homes. :)

I wanted to also give you a bit of a health update: While my TPN feedings via the line in my arm are still going well (hooray!), my endometriosis has been getting progressively more severe in the last few months and it's gotten to the point where I really just need to stay in bed all the time. I have surgery scheduled for mid-January and am on the waitlist just in case they can get me in sooner (I'd go in tomorrow if I had the option!) Anytime I move around at all, it triggers a lot of inflammation, swelling, pain, and nausea. The less I move, the more manageable it is, though I have been having intermittent days of severe pain. It looks like I'll be on bedrest until my surgery, and then for a couple of months afterwards because my EDS really disrupts my healing and it is a very slow process for me.

Usually I spend my days in bed writing and developing recipes that will later turn into blog posts, but as my health has declined, I've been feeling more and more frustrated and depressed that I'm not well enough to work on actually creating the recipes I get so excited to write about.

Yesterday, I decided that rather than obsessing over what I cannot do right now, it is time to let go and put those projects back on a shelf for a while. I felt pressed against a wall, facing probably 3-4 months of bedrest until I can slowly ease back into being able to work on these projects again. Having a creative outlet is a really helpful coping mechanism for me; I need something for my mind to focus on to keep it from ruminating on my pain levels. I just couldn't think of anything I could work on in bed that I felt passionate or excited about.

So, I started thinking about what specifically brings me joy, and one very big thing that I love to do is to give meaningful objects to others. That and my newfound love of paint markers collided in my head to birth a new project idea! I planned it all out last night, caught a good sale for the supplies and used some of my new etsy income to purchase them, and woke up this morning feeling EXCITED!

Some of my favorite videos to watch on TikTok are the ones where someone is announcing their new name. Often, these are trans or non-binary people who have finally found something that affirms their identity, and I always tear up with joy at seeing them so excited and proud of who they are! I would love nothing more than to be able to celebrate them, so I've decided to start a series of paintings where I use my Synesthesia to interpret what their new name looks like, and then I paint it as a gift to them. It's my hope that these pieces will be representative of a big transition in each recipient's life and that they will be a really meaningful gift. The "home base" for this project will be TikTok, if you have an account and want to follow along! The profile I'll be using is @AltWondersmith so you can find me. I have posted a video asking anyone who wants to be involved to post a video talking about their name and what it means to them. Then, I'll pull submissions out of a hat, video the process of painting the picture, and use the audio from their video as the soundtrack; the resulting videos will be a portrait of a time of joyful change, and the paintings themselves a physical record of it. I'll post some of the creations here and to my other social media as well, but the majority will be housed on TikTok. :)

This project is a gift to others, made possible by my incredible patrons, but it is a gift to myself as well: I can already tell that it will be a tremendous thing to focus on while I allow my body the stillness and rest it so desperately needs. And while there will certainly be days when deep, uninterrupted rest is called for, there will be many more days where I long to create. It's who I am, it's what fills my heart, and it's going to make this difficult period of my life so much more bearable.

I still have plenty of Wondersmith magic to share, so you can expect to still see recipe posts and writings... but most of my energy will be reserved for this temporary project. I hope you'll understand why I've made this decision to show myself the self care I am always advocating for for others. I also have a few surprises up my sleeve for many of you in 2021! I can't wait to share the development of this special project with all of you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making it possible for me to take care of myself while also doing what I love. I seriously have the best community I could ever imagine and I am so thankful for every single one of you!!

Magic Always,
Miss Wondersmith