Welcome to Liminality (Are you ready for a new exploration? It's okay if you're not.)

What a world we live in right now. Life is rapidly changing for all of us, throwing the entire planet into a state of liminality, of un-rootedness and insecurity and mystery. None of us know exactly what to expect, when we’ll be in lockdown mode (if we aren’t already) or how long we will need to remain in isolation. So much changes in just one day. So much will change between now and when I post this! Currently, government agencies and private groups are struggling to find funding for the vast masses that are suddenly unemployed. People are stocking up and hunkering down, unsure of how long it will be before they can see their friends or family again. It’s a scary place to be. And we are ALL in it. This space between is terrifying, frustrating, and an opportunity. (This is coming from someone who hates the word “opportunity” anywhere near a painful experience - sometimes pain just feels like pain.) 

I’ve had a lot of practice in my life of adjusting to a new normal. I went from a healthy, active teenager to one riddled with strange symptoms and unable to eat nearly overnight. I grieved for a long time for my broken body, and I found solace in my art. I went to school to pursue my creative passions and once again got gravely ill. I was forced to drop out and come home, and as I slowly recovered I worked with a local herbalist to become more intimately acquainted with the incredible plants of the region. I found my art again and learned that my pace was much better suited to my own self-driven beat than to semesters and study weeks. Over and over illness has hit, forcing me to re-examine my life and my body. Transitions are painful. I have spent a lot of my life in the darkness that is constant, inescapable pain. From one of the longest and worst periods of my life, I emerged as The Wondersmith. It took a near-death experience, an awful lot of pain, and the frustrated confusion of liminality and a cloudy future to drive me there. But oh how rewarding it has been!

Unlike the vast majority of you, I have already been living a fairly isolated lifestyle since my hospitalization and emergency surgery in October. I’ve been mostly confined to bed as my health has slipped up and down and recovery has been rough (to say the least.) At each step I have grieved, re-evaluated, and adapted. This process happens faster and faster with each new adjustment. I’m learning to be resilient. Perhaps that’s why I feel guided to connect on a deep level to my community right now. I know the pain of transitions, the fear of liminality… but I also know the wonders that can emerge when you run into a wall and just keep pushing until you break through, even when it feels like you’re not moving one bit. I predict that the isolation and lockdowns of the coming months are going to lead to a lot of introspection. I don’t know how and I don’t know what, but I think that the world we re-emerge to and rebuild is going to be very different than the one we know now. 

Here is the message I tell myself each time I am knocked back into the space of liminality: you do not need to solve this right now. You are allowed to grieve. You are allowed to hurt. You are allowed to feel frightened. All of your emotions are valid, and your timeline for processing these changes is your own. When you do start to come to terms with the liminality we’ve all been pushed into, you may feel a weight lifting. That “things are somehow going to be okay” feeling will blanket you - sometimes just for a moment or two, sometimes longer. And then you will start to ask yourself the deep, rich questions that you don’t have time to ask when you are busy living your normal life. What do you truly want to do in life? What can you do now?

I’ve been asking myself those questions lately too. There is a world of possibility out there! I can’t even count the number of free online opportunities I’ve seen posted just today. There are free lessons on just about anything you could want to learn! There is time to curl up and read. There is time to sit and to reflect. How will you spend it?

As The Wondersmith, the two main pillars of my work have crumbled down around me in the last few days. Since I am so high-risk, my household is limiting any exposure to the outside world as much as possible, which means that grocery trips are rare and we are focusing on the basics. Recipe testing and posting will be limited. The events that I share with strangers are obviously impossible now, and probably will be for a long time. These two things have sustained me for years now, and it hurts to put them back on the shelf, even temporarily.

Through that cloud of grief, however, I saw a spark. There it was, in the back of my mind, glimmering and glowing. This spark is old, and I have only noticed it because the other sparkles of ideas for creative culinary creations or meaningful events that eclipsed it have been re-located to “someday when things are back to normal.” That spark whispered to me: statement necklaces. I *LOVE* making dramatic jewelry. (Like the necklace my sister is modeling below, created from naturally-shed beetle wings and swarovski gems.) At one point in my life, I saw my future as a designer of bold and nature-based designs to wear and hold. Then my love moved on to the intricacies of human interaction and the pleasure of holding a handmade dish. But now is a time to reconnect with old flames, and you’re going to be seeing some new things from me soon.

Grieve, accept, adapt. Through the instability and fear, I feel a glimmer of excitement. I know what kind of medicine I need for the foreseeable future. Between ceramics and jewelry design, I can safely work in the comfort of my home and indulge my creativity in new directions. I hope you’ll join me for the ride - it’s going to be interesting, at the very least!

I’d like to issue an invitation to you, too: what capacity do you have right now to dive into something new? What is something you have always wanted to do but set aside over and over? What do you want to learn? If and when you are ready, I hope you will join me in leaning into this liminality, of finding the opportunities hidden in this challenge. There is a lot of room for reinvention in a society filled with change. <3 I also want to announce that I’ve been working on more community-based projects as well. Join me over in The Secret Society of Wonder for a (virtual) cup of tea and a time to look over little wonders shared from all over the world! Patrons, I’m gearing up to try something new for you, too, and I think you are going to like it. We may be more distant than ever physically, but our society is going to grow ever closer in many inspiring ways. I am SO ready to be a part of that! Are you? 

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