Rosy Blush and Self-Love Portraits
I have a secret to tell you: you deserve to love your body. You do not need to achieve anything to be worthy of that love. No matter your shape, size, ability, strength, color, or appearance, your body is incredible. It (and you) deserve love.
That can be a really difficult idea to swallow in a culture that is always posing certain natural traits as “problems to be solved” so that it can profit off of selling you the “cure” - whether that’s gym memberships or genital surgery. I think many of us hold conditions for our own self love in our minds: “If I could lose 20 pounds I would love my body;” “If I could go to the gym every day and stop eating pastries I would love my body;” “If I could build more muscles I would love my body.” I get it. I have heard those things from so many people I care about, and I’ve said them to myself as well. (This is an entirely deeper subject for non-binary, androgynous, and transgender people, though the ritual below still applies!)
Whether or not you believe these words now, try standing in front of a mirror and saying them to yourself: “I do not need to change or achieve anything to be worthy of my own self love.” If you don’t believe it, say it again. The magic here is that it will work its way into your subconscious eventually and one day you will realize that you do believe it!
So much of the body imagery we are exposed to is a narrow representation of the beautiful diversity of the human race. Particularly as women, a lot of those images are created for the male gaze; that is, to be attractive in the eyes of our potential mates. For thousands of years, male painters have painted womens’ bodies. Though the “ideal body shape” has changed throughout the eras, the focus remains the same: to appear desirable to men.
When you get dressed for a night out, whose enjoyment are you picturing? Are you hoping to look sexy for your partner, or perhaps want to catch the eye of someone you are attracted to? Those are natural reactions; of course we want to appear attractive to the people we are attracted to. Let me follow that up with another question: what would it look like if you dressed purely for yourself?
For me, that’s actually a pretty hard question to answer! Would it mean lots of colorful makeup or none at all? Do I have a desire to look more masculine today? What kind of clothes best express how I am feeling at this moment? (For me, the answer is often: none.)
Below is my suggestion for a ritual to explore sensual self love.
You’ll be taking sensual self portraits. You can either use the timer on your phone or camera or recruit a trusted friend to help you with these. Remember that these aren’t about appealing to anyone else, just you! If you’ve always wanted to wear a tailored suit, do it! If you want to post nude and show off the sensual folds of your skin, now is the time! If you’ve ever wanted to draw a picture on yourself highlighting a particular scar, give it a try! Express yourself in a way that feels most fun and exciting and true without one little consideration about what anyone else might think or say.
If you feel like showing off the photos you took later, you can - as long as you remember that you are the only person who ever needs to see them if that is what makes you feel best.
Self-Love Selfies Ritual:
Sit down for a moment in front of your mirror. Repeat the mantra above (“ I do not need to change or achieve anything to be worthy of my own self love” ) a couple of times, looking into your reflection.
Then, close your eyes and breathe deeply a few times, until you start feeling relaxed and grounded. Feel the seat under you and the ground underneath that, layers of support holding you right down into the earth.
With your eyes still closed, picture what you feel like the essence of yourself in this moment would look like. When you have a clear picture in your mind, gather whatever clothes, props, makeup, or other supplies you need to bring your vision to life.
Take some selfies! You can use a phone or a camera; use a timer or have a trusted friend help you.
Save these photos somewhere special so that you can revisit them whenever you want to be reminded of what it felt like to take them. This is particularly helpful if you are going through some kind of transition and want to be able to mark your way through it with bursts of self-care and self-love.
Rosy Blush Stick
I rarely post cosmetics recipes because I think the beauty industry can be pretty brutal, but I see makeup itself as being a tool for expression. If you’d like some lovely rosy cheeks and want to make your own cream blush, this is a great recipe. It’s fun to make, too - who doesn’t love smelling roses and feeling like an alchemist or woodland fairy?
This recipe gets its lovely color from both alkanet root powder and roses. I love harvesting wild roses or the darker roses in my garden, allowing them to dry, then powdering them by hand in a mortar and pestle or in a fine spice grinder. They add a bit of depth to the color and a faint but beautiful scent. The sea buckthorn oil is full of powerful antioxidants and adds a faint warm tint to the mixture, which gives it a lovely summer glow. For a more pink blush, use a smaller amount. For more coral tones, use a bit more.
Ingredients:
1 c. shea butter
¼ c. cocoa butter
2 Tbs. Alkanet root powder (Alkanna tinctoria)
1 Tbs. Wild rose petal powder
¼-½ tsp. Sea buckthorn oil
2 capsule vitamin E oil
Directions:
Heat the shea butter and cocoa butter in a double boiler over low heat until melted. Add the wild rose petal powder and alkanet powder and let sit over low heat for 2 hours, stirring occasionally. Shut off the heat and let it continue infusing for a few more hours, then re-heat as needed to turn it back into a liquid. Strain through a fine filter and stir in the sea buckthorn oil and vitamin E oil.
Pour into tubes and allow to harden. To apply, sweep along cheekbones and then use your finger or a clean makeup sponge to blend into skin.
P.S. If you'd like to see some fun videos on what this blush looks like on my skin and how I made it, find me on TikTok!
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Join me for a little winter night magic as we bake this cake full of rich seasonal flavors and black cocoa!