The Tortured Artist: Magic Green Bread

New to foraging? Learn more about ethical and safe foraging (plus how to get started) here!

For a long time I was afraid to talk openly about my severe chronic illnesses. At first, I was afraid of the vulnerability, the questions, the judgements. As I became more secure in how I coped with illness, how I created a beautiful life despite it, I felt like I was ready to talk. But one fear has stuck with me: the idea that I am becoming a story, another tortured artist who creates beauty in the darkness. That story is true, and I’m proud of it. But it’s not the only story.

Even after everythingI have been through, all of the pain of illness, the traumas, the near death experiences, I truly, deeply believe that anyone can create meaningful art in a meaningful life. Beautiful art doesn’t have to come from pain. You do not need to starve to be legitimate. You don’t have to hurt to be creative. 

Art is a place of solace, for me. It’s the way I cling to the light. It’s the way I cope. But that is only one dimension of what it means to me, and  it doesn’t have to be that for you at all. We see the archetype of the suffering creative all around us - another musician lost to an overdose, an actor risen from depression or addiction, stories of pain and darkness being the catalyst for creativity. Sometimes I feel like people search for pain to fuel them, thinking it’s the only way to find success or accolades. Maybe I did too, somehow. Maybe I’d seen it modeled over and over that successful creatives come with baggage and that their shadows are denser than most. 

But you know where else creativity and creation can come from? Joy! Curiosity! Play! There is absolutely nothing wrong with creating something beautiful just because it makes you happy. In fact, I’d argue that those pieces can serve the desperately important role of offering a counterpoint to the darker sides of life. Let yourself be curious and explore! Let yourself create in times of joy, not just times of struggle! Realize that your creative potential doesn’t dry up for something as amazing as happiness. No matter your state of mind, you can create art. Some of my best ideas come from moments of play. 

For example, one time I had a huge craving for peanut butter cookies, but there was no peanut butter in the house, but there was sunflower seed butter so I used that. When I pulled those cookies out of the oven expecting the familiar warm brown of classic pb cookies, I was shocked to see that they had turned GREEN! Then, I was overjoyed! How fun is this? I started researching why this happened, and then learned that I can put sunbutter in baked goods that contain baking powder or baking soda and a magical transformation will happen in the oven that renders those baked goods a rich emerald green! That right there is the creative power of play and curiosity. Don’t underestimate it. Go forth and create something magical, whatever your mindframe and whatever your emotion. 

This grain-free bread has a flavor similar to pumpkin or zucchini bread, but with a lighter, slightly spongy texture that makes it a delight to eat! The nutty flavor goes wonderfully with a brown sugar glaze reminiscent of maple with crunchy toasted nuts. For added fall deliciousness, creamy and ever-so-slightly tangy cultured butter and homemade apple butter made from feral apples are the perfect topping. Everything is really easy to make, just make sure you give yourself a couple of days for the butter to ferment and for the apple butter to reduce down in a crock pot. 

Sunflower Bread: 

2 ripe bananas

1 c. sunflower butter

4 eggs

½ c. almond flour

¼ c. white sugar

1 tsp. Cinnamon

1 tsp. Baking soda

Glaze and Toppings: 

¼ c. butter, sliced

½ c. packed dark brown sugar

2 Tbs. milk

Up to 1 c. powdered sugar

½ c. sunflower seeds

½ c. pepitas (pumpkin seeds)

Directions: 

1. Preheat oven to 350 and grease an 8”x4” bread loaf pan. 

2. Mash the bananas until smooth, then add them to the bowl of a stand mixer with a whisk attachment. Add the sunflower butter and beat until the mixture is smooth. 

3. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. 

4. Sift in the dry ingredients, then mix for two minutes on medium after adding them. 

5. Pour the batter into the pan and cook for 43-48 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the center comes out clean. Let cool in the pan for 20 minutes, then loosen the edges and let cool on a cooling rack.

6. While the bread is cooling, lightly toast the seeds. 

7. To make the glaze, combine the butter, milk, and brown sugar in a small saucepan. Bring to a simmer and stir until the sugar is dissolved, then remove from heat and let cool for 5 minutes. Add the powdered sugar, ¼ c. at a time, whisking constantly until the mixture is a pourable consistency. 

8. Pour the icing over the top of the bread and top with the toasted seeds. 

Feral Apple Butter:

3 lbs feral apples and/or pears

2 tsp. Ground spicebush berries

½ tsp. Nutmeg 

½ tsp. Dried ginger

¼ tsp. Cardamom 

½ c. water

¼  c. maple syrup (optional)

Pinch salt 

Directions: 

1.  Peel, core, and roughly chop the apples and place them in a crockpot with the rest of the ingredients. 

2. Put the crockpot on low and let cool for 9-12 hours, checking every few hours that there is enough moisture. 

3. When the apples are so soft theybreak up when you stir them, transfer the mixture to a food processor and blend until smooth. If the mixture is nice and thick, just scoop it into sterilized jars and refrigerate.

4. If you’d like it to thicken up more, put the mixture back in the crockpot for another couple of hours, stirring frequently. 

5. Keeps in the fridge for up to two weeks, or you can freeze for longer. 

Cultured Butter:

Cultured butter is butter made from cream that has been lightly fermented with live cultures (like you’d find in yogurt), which increases the fat content in the butter, making it richer and more flavorful. 

You’ll need: 

2 cups heavy cream 

¼ c. plain yogurt with live cultures

Sea salt

Directions: 

1. Pour the cream into a clean bowl and stir in the yogurt. Cover the bowl and let it sit at room temperature for 36-48 hours (depending on the temperature and desired level of tartness.) It should smell lightly tangy. 

2. Transfer to the bowl of a food processor and whip the cream. First it will become thick, then it will start to get grainy. Keep mixing until yellow clumps of butter separate out of the white buttermilk. Strain out the buttermilk and reserve for some other use (like baking biscuits or pancakes!) 

3. Put the butter in a colander and rinse it well under cold water. Fill a bowl of very cold water and add the butter. Massage it with your hands to rinse out any remaining buttermilk. Pour out the water and fill with more clean cold water and repeat the process. Keep changing out the water until it stays clear.

4. Put the washed butter in a bowl and add a little salt. Mix in well. Taste, and add a little more salt if desired. Serve at room temperature. 

Love what you’ve read here? Don’t forget to Subscribe to get frequent updates of new posts!

Huge thanks to my Patrons that make sharing all of these lovely posts with you possible (without all of the pop-ups and ads that make browsing other blogs so annoying). If you’re feeling generous, you too can support the wonder with a monthly contribution of your choice. Even $1 helps a lot! Your donation will help to fund this blog as well as my surprise free events and gifts for strangers. Learn more about this program at the link below: