Secret Recipe: Goblin Breakfast Pizzas! (With Black Garlic and Dandelion Greens)

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Why do mythological creatures fill our minds so often? Are we catching glimpses into a world beyond our own, or perhaps seeing something within ourselves instead? Do we want an explanation for the eerie feeling of walking along a hedgerow in the dark or the wonder of a rainbow?

It’s fascinating to me how various cryptids and mythical beings seem to weave in and out of the zeitgeist throughout the ages. During my teen years, it was vampires and werewolves in all of their mystery. More recently, it’s been unicorns, with nostalgic pastels and a yearning for the innocence of childhood. But right now, as I write this, there’s no denying it: goblins are having a moment.

Yes, goblins. There’s a whole aesthetic movement called “goblincore” that’s full of swamps, frogs, overalls, garlicky comfort food, collecting shiny bits, and generally being a little bit feral and chaotic. Perhaps it is a rebellion against societal standards of beauty, or escapism from the pressure of capitalism. Maybe it’s just that everything doesn’t have to be perfect and pretty to be valid, and that’s definitely an idea I can get behind. Whether you imagine goblins as the creepy eyes staring out at your in the darkness, belonging to a creature with green skin and pointy ears, or whether you identify with goblincore in a more personal way, I think you’ll enjoy this delightfully spooky breakfast pizza, complete with quail eggs for eyes. Garlicky, cheesy, eggy, and full of complex umami flavors, it’s a fantastic way to start another day of Spooky Season. Plus it doesn’t just have to be confined to breakfast; it makes a great lunch, snack, or dinner as well. This recipe makes 4-6 goblin pizzas, depending on how large you want to make them. Keep in mind that the dough needs to rest overnight, so it’ll all come together pretty quickly in the morning!

On top of your dough base, you’ll use a layer of sausagey eggs to add depth and pattern to your pizza. You can cut it into whatever shapes you need to form eyelids, lips, noses, etc. Then everything gets cloaked in a luscious bechamel sauce and topped with lots of cheese. It’s a fun project to do with kids of any age (though an adult should definitely be doing the cutting.)

Dandelions are known for being tough and bitter (like some goblins we all know, right?), but that all depends on how fast they’ve grown. The dandelions that fight to grow through the hot, dry season are entirely different from the tender, light-colored greens that happily spring up once the rains have begun and the air has cooled. These dandelion greens have only a slight bitterness and blend into sauces wonderfully. Gather plenty, since they shrink down quite a bit after blanching. To blanch, bring a pot of salted water to boil, then add the greens and stir for 30 seconds. Quickly strain and immediately plunge the leaves into a bowl of ice water to stop their cooking. Drain well and pat dry with paper towels, then you are ready to use them in the recipes below! Note: if you are making this recipe for kids, you may want to substitute baby spinach for a flavor that is less bitter. I’d also recommend cutting out the black garlic since it’s a fairly sophisticated flavor. Your goblins will be lighter in color, but no less fearsome!

Black Garlic is the other magical ingredient in these toothsome treats. Black garlic is normal garlic that has been held at a specific temperature for a long time, allowing the starches to caramelize and darken. Rather than the bite of fresh garlic, black garlic has balsamic-like tones of sweet earthiness that makes it a fantastic pairing for these delightfully freaky pizzas. It also gives our goblins a spooky greyish tint.

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